Important Mummys support thread

[thinwon]

Awww Shan, i feel for you.... i think i understand to a degree what your feeling, i went through that when Katie got sick..... i hope you can work through it with some counceling or something i think its good that you reconize whats going on and can be honest about it, are you able to leave her with family so you could go out for even just an hour? you may need to do baby steps first...*hugs*

[Porcelina]

shan, maybe do some baby friendly afternoon activity with your friends. it may not be exactly what you're after but it's a step and a good friend wouldn't complain about a baby tagging along. it would be a healthy step i think to go out with the baby when you're ready. but i can certainly see why you don't want to. not that i fully understand but i've been there with the post partum and the second child coming along and not wanting to miss a second because i personally felt (and you shouldn't feel the same as me, different situation totally) that i was to blame with stuff i missed the first go around and wasn't willing the second time. so i do relate a bit, but realize how different it is. and hang in there, if it is post partum time does heal.

[shenanigans]

I do have "mommy/baby" time with a couple of my ladies...they aren't the ones upset with me.

I've always been the type of person up for whatever. No matter how shitty my life was or how shitty I thought about myself I was always ready for a good time...even if I had to fake it.
Now I'm content staying home with the baby...or am I content??
I don't even know anymore. I miss my friends a ton and I DO miss going out at night from time to time but it's like I'm so afraid of missing a minute with baby girl that I can't think about doing anything without her.

And I know it's not exactly healthy but the thought of not being with her instantly depresses me.
For example...when the hubbie went out of town with the band last weekend my mom was all set to take both kids but at the last minute I couldn't do it and I stayed home.
I've been out with one of my best friends and had to go home after an hour because I couldn't be away from her any longer.

This is so hard to explain.

[Porcelina]

i know it's hard to explain. you don't really have to explain, i think i see where you are coming from.

honestly though, don't beat yourself up. she's only little once. you are enjoying a time that you can never rewind and get back. i may not be the best one to be advising and of course i think it's well known to take my suggestions with a grain of salt. but isn't every smile you see, every cute noise, every sweet moment totally worth it? good friends will still be there. baby stages are not long. she's going to turn into a toddler, then a kid, then my goodness middle school and high school and the rest of her life. friends will still be there.

change can be difficult. babies are always an adjustment. i've always had the impression that you're a terrific mommy, just trust your gut and give yourself some credit.

and of course that is a complete outsider opinion. i don't know specific details and i'm not asking as it's personal. just love her up and enjoy her.

i have a friend who keeps inviting me out. i keep telling my friend that i love her dearly but i don't have a sitter. she says, "you have a husband" i tell her that we're never all home at the same time so saturday night or what ever, i'm sorry i am busy. she says to ask my mom and i tell her i limit that, i just can't, i'm sorry. it keeps happening. but on the same token, this lovely friend is 23, childless, getting ready to kick her boyfriend out because she's not into serious relationships...ehhh we just aren't in the same place with life. but i never felt like she minded me picking my girls first either. not saying your friends mind at all, but i hope you don't get grief for being mommy first.

[Porcelina]

another issue. my 4 year old has an appointment feb 22 regarding above posted issues. i got notification by mail that her kindergarten assessment is feb 26 at 9am. i have this full time job as well that is pretty serious. they laid down a law with schedules, stuff is changing we're about to be busy again. they think it's more effective management if they tell you when to come and go, which i can respect. that will be ok. but i was considering letting them know that for just that week i am available before 8 am and later than 4:30 pm.

i feel like a complete slacker asking for bad weather to be acceptable and for my kid to have 2 appointments in one week. as a mom, i don't want to miss either. i can't send my husband in there regarding an eating disorder and expect all the right questions to be asked. i'm not sure i have thought of all the right questions as sometimes you think of stuff as the doc is speaking. as for kindergarten assessments...what a milestone! i just want to be there! i can't believe her babyhood is ending and here comes childhood. this is a big deal. however, so is a pay check! advice?